Does power make you weird?

Some leaders rise into power and lose themselves. Others rise and stay grounded.

Consider Satya Nadella at Microsoft. When he stepped into the CEO role, Microsoft was known for its sharp edges—internal rivalries, a “know-it-all” culture, and declining relevance. Power could have reinforced those dynamics. Instead, Nadella modeled a different kind of leadership: one rooted in empathy, humility, and curiosity. Under his watch, Microsoft’s culture shifted from “know-it-all” to “learn-it-all”—and the business flourished.

So does power have to make you weird? A recent Harvard Business Review article implies that it often does. It warns that “authentic” leaders destabilize teams when authenticity shows up as impulsivity or oversharing that creates discomfort instead of trust. The author even claims that "emotional intelligence requires inauthenticity—if authenticity means expressing your unfiltered self."

That raises an important question: what do we actually mean by authenticity?

Authenticity ≠ No Filter

It's easy confuse who we truly are from how we show up out of habit. When we start to identify with our habits under stress-- people-pleasing, controlling, victimhood, hypervigilance, perfectionism-- we mistake conditioned behaviors for authenticity. 

When we release the stranglehold of those automatic negative thought patterns- our Saboteurs- we discover that authenticity is something quite different:

• Not dissolving boundaries, but anchoring in core values and leading from them.

• Not unchecked self-expression, but skillful emotional regulation.

• Not offering a running commentary on your inner monologue, but embracing your humanity as a strength.

Deliberate self-regulation isn’t the opposite of authenticity—it’s what enables it.

Power in service of others 

Power doesn’t have to distort. It can sharpen empathy, humility, and purpose—if you've first done the work to remember who you are. 

As a bonus, it's work that will enrich every relationship in your life. Including the one you have with yourself.

Everything you need

Everything you need is right before you.
You will find it in the corners if you sweep.

Take out the broom from behind the coats in the entryway.
Bring what you collect to the ocean.

There is nothing to be afraid of.
Open your robe and walk out into the water.

If you fall, you will land in the hammock
you have woven from passions and tendons

and the muscle of your heart
will pull you to your feet.

When you emerge, shivering,
take a moment to absorb it in your bones

before wrapping yourself up again.
You have a gift you can open any time.

Watch what your arms and legs can do.
You are capable of so much joy.